Ransom
I've been sick for the last three weeks.
4 Days on Steroids
3 Urgent care visits
3 Antibiotics
3 Vials of Blood Drawn
2 Visits to the Specialist
1 Emergency Room Visit
1 CT Scan
and
1 Metric Ton of Ibuprofen later, I have a couple answers.
One of which is that I'm way too stressed out... to the point that my body throws itself into intense pain in revolt at my worries.
It took me ransom... I didn't realize it was that clever.
**note to self: read up on the Sabbath... or suffer the consequences.
Due to my sickness I have been given more than enough time to thing these past weeks, maybe too much time. It often popped in my mind that my propensity for freak Illness might keep me from my dreams of working cross culturally. It's a real worry. There are a million what ifs that pop in your head when facing things you know nothing about, especially when those things lay you up, especially when those things might not go away.
But then I think of faith, and once again Jesus starts messing up my life. What about the "power [that] is made perfect in weakness"? What about the promise that much more than my wildest dreams, I will be used for the glory of my Lord? What about those who have not heard? What about Adoniram Judson? Hudson Taylor? The physical and emotional pain and anguish that has followed men and women of God as they display Him? The trials of persecuted Christians worldwide who's faith is ten times that of my own? Lastly, how can I claim to trust in the Resurrection of Christ and hope in the Kingdom when I allow myself to be held ransom by my fear of death?
I did not believe in this Messiah so I could die in my bath tub at the age of eighty.
I am constantly amazed at how upside down Jesus and the Apostles were. Let me follow them.
By the way... While I was sick this little guy kept freaking out in the tree right by my window. Portland squirrels are pimp.
Grace and Peace
3 comments:
Fear and worry are two nasty enemies, fight them at all cost, lest they take you captive!
As the wife of an amazingly brave man and as a mother; I have to wrestle with fears so often. But the ultimate question is one of faith and trust-do I truly believe God is who He claims to be? If so, there is not room for my petty worries and fears. And they are petty when compared to the vastness of God.
My fears will only weaken me now and prevent me from growing in faith. I need to grow in faith so that I will be prepared for hard things when they come. And they will come, on a foreign mission field or living life here in the USA, hard times come!
Hey there - I don't know your syptoms but some of what yuo mention sounded like stuff I went through maybe it is stress But right now it high season for ticks if your joint hurt and you feel like you have the flu you might look up lyme disease.
@Nathan: my blood test did come back normal, but I'm going back in for a CT scan because they noticed some abnormal nodules on my thyroid gland.
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