I'm so much older than I can take.

So here I am at the Precipice of Nineteen.

Here's Eighteen in a nutshell:

I got lost. I got my heart broke. I got lonely. Went back to my roots. I got in a wreck. Learned what sparrows feel like. Battled the Red army. And found a Calcutta.

This year has been a real challenge. I started it out with a complete loss of my big Christian community -High School- and that sent me reeling. But I've gained such a greater understanding of what identity is. And community now is so much sweeter.

Got my heart torn out of my chest. Too bad dating isn't tax refundable. I was given a glimpse of what Christ's love is. -and unfortunately couldn't kill my inner self enough to show it. That's horrible.

Didn't make too many friends this year. But the four men that stuck around basically saved my life. Erik, Kent, Caleb and Zach, you are all a blessing from the Lord. To me you guys are the tangible grace of God.

I came one step closer to becoming a man. For the last five months I took care of 16+ people five nights a week. It was not glamorous. I am the Poop-smith. I was surprised I did it. The Lord blessed me with that ability. I saw death, more than once. I cried. It tore me up, and still is. God is Good.

So here I am at the Precipice of Nineteen.

I feel like that one part at the end of Garden State when they yell into the abyss.


How very existential of me.

Grace and Peace